What is Sweeter than Love or Money?
by Purely Superficial
Summary: Captain Hook has just met a lovely lady who holds a grudge against that blasted brat Peter Pan. Her promises sound too good to be true, but when her plans undermine the foundations of Never Never Land, the captain finds his first ever moral dilemma.


Captain Hook was throwing another tantrum. Smee and a few other crew members had rowed to shore to get away from his temper. Smee hadn't been Hook's first mate for this long without knowing how the old man worked. Hook would cool off by sunset, and then he would stay up most of the night, plotting revenge.

Smee was enjoying his pipe when something rustled in the bushes. He drew his short sword, prepared for a lost boy or Indian warrior. The last thing he expected was for a woman to walk out of the thick Never Jungle.

Now, Smee had seen the rare girl whisked away to Never Never Land by Peter Pan, and there was an occasional Indian princess running around the island, but he had not seen a woman since Captain Hook had become obsessed with pursuing Peter Pan. This was not just any woman, but a slender, shapely woman with long red hair dressed in a ragged leather coat, ripped pants and cracked goggles. Even though the woman was dressed in rags and her face smudged from travel, she was the most beautiful creature Smee had ever seen.

"Hello," she said softly.

"Uh..." Smee replied, stunned and entranced by her presence.

"I don't suppose you have anything to drink?" she asked, her melodious voice sweeter than anything the old sea dog had heard in more years than he could count.

"Uh...huh..." Smee handed her his hip flask. She graciously accepted it and took a swig. She handed it back with a smile that almost stopped his heart.

"Now, would you be so kind as to escort me to the ship?" she held out her hand for Smee to take. "I have some business with your captain."

Smee was speechless as he led the woman to the pirate camp and row boat. The other pirates were equally stunned and instantly infatuated. There was no shortage of helpful hands as the woman boarded the small boat. There were two men to each ore, and each wanted to show off his strength, so the trip to the Jolly Rodger was the shortest and fastest ever.

The woman gracefully ascended the rope ladder draped over the side of the ship, and all the pirates watched hungrily from below as her shapely form stretched and flexed as she climbed. At the top, she stood defiantly beautiful before the whole crew. Work stopped all over the ship as every crew mate froze in his tracks and stared at the woman.

"I am here to see Captain Jas Hook," she said clearly. Unable to use their voices, members of the crew pointed to the captain's cabin. She nodded her thanks and boldly walked to the door. She tapped it delicately with two knuckles.

Hook ripped open the door and snarled, "WHAT?" Once he caught sight of the girl, his rage died, replaced by crafty curiosity. "...can I do for you, Miss?" he amended.

"I have a lucrative proposition for you, if you are willing to hear me out," she replied softly. She didn't seem in the least perturbed by his show of rage, or his lack of a shirt. Hook looked as if he had just rolled out of bed, his black hair wild and tangled, his hook threateningly pointed at her throat.

"Indeed," the captain crooned as his eyes swept up and down the woman's figure. He stood to one side and opened the door wider. "Please come in."

The woman walked confidently into the captain's quarters. He glared at the crew before slamming the door. A few telltale clicks and a solid thump told everyone the door was locked and barred against any interruption. Inside, the woman took a seat in an overstuffed red velvet chair and crossed her legs. She somehow managed to look business-like and alluring at the same time.

Hook hastily shrugged on his long red coat for appearance sakes and reclaimed his silver double-barrel cigar holder. He struck what he thought to be a captainly pose before addressing her once more. "Now my dear," Hook purred, "What might your name be?"

"My name is Megara Louise DuWitter," she replied.

"Miss DuWitter," he tasted her name like an elegant appetizer. "About this proposition... What did you have in mind?"

"To the point then," she said briskly. "I have discovered a...unique resource here in Never-Never Land. So far, I have been unable to export it—or even return to the mainland myself. Agree to help me transport this...resource back to my office in England, and you can name your price."

"How very ambitious of you," he crooned. "And I can ask for anything in return, you say?"

"For this, I am wiling to compromise any and all ethics, morals and codes," she affirmed without batting an eyelash.

"If you don't mind my saying so, my dear, you have little more than your feminine wiles and the clothes on your back," the captain archly pointed out. "What could you offer that I cannot take?"

Megara stiffened, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. Still, she had a ready answer. "True, if I never return to England, I am completely at your mercy. However, at home, I wield more power than you can imagine, and I can make it well worth your while."

"What good would that do a humble pirate like myself?" he persisted. "I have treasure and food, and a loyal crew...I have everything I need right here and I'll be damned if I leave before that wretched Peter Pan."

The woman pursed her lips, looking for a tactful way to phrase her next question. "Captain, have you ever wondered how long you have been anchored in Never-Never Land?"

"Too bloody long," he snarled.

"You used to be the boatswain of the dread pirate, Edward 'Blackbeard' Teach," she reminded him.

"Ah yes, how is that old dog?" Hook chuckled vilely.

"Blackbeared died in 1718, nearly two hundred years ago," she said gently.

"What the devil?" he screamed, his hook flailing dangerously. "Are you telling me that I've been marooned in this god-forsaken lagoon for two hundred years? That that brat Peter Pan has been taunting me for two centuries?"

"I'm afraid so," she replied soothingly.

"Blast it all," moaned the captain. "No wonder it seemed an endless torture."

"Captain," Megara said softly as she got to her feet. "I am here to put an end to all this." she carefully directed him to the seat she had just vacated. In his shock, the captain didn't resist. She started to massage his shoulders as the continued to talk. "I am here to set you and your crew free from this cursed island. All you need to do is ferry me and a few boxes of product between here and the mainland, and I'll make all your dreams come true."

"I dream of killing that wretched boy," he growled. Somewhat to his surprise, the woman laughed, low and delightfully evil.

"Then we have a common goal, my good captain," she whispered in his ear. "Help me and I will personally guarantee Peter Pan's head on a silver platter."

"Now that's more like it," the captain agreed.

* * *

I'm trying to find the "happy medium" Hook between the goofball in the Disney animated movies, the deliciously villianous Hook played by Dustin Hoffman, and the cold-blooded killer of the books by Dave Barry and co. Let me know how I'm doing.


End file.
